Finding Strength and Confidence: Paula’s Experience with Choices
For many survivors, navigating life after domestic abuse can feel overwhelming. The impact on confidence, decision-making, and career aspirations can be profound. Paula, a Flying High client, shares her journey of personal growth, mindset shifts, and new found confidence.
A Chance Encounter
Paula first heard about the programme through a local WhatsApp group connected to her work with women’s refuges and community support services. Already deeply engaged in helping others, she was curious about what Choices could offer her.
“I wasn’t sure what to expect,” she admits. “I’ve been dealing with these issues my whole life, just getting on with things on my own. But I thought, if I could learn something from this that would also help others, then it was worth a try.”
The Power of Mindset Shifts
Going into the programme, Paula had spent years juggling work, personal responsibilities, and the emotional weight of past experiences. Like many women in similar situations, she often found herself prioritising others' needs over her own, worrying about upsetting people or making the ‘wrong’ decision.
Through her coaching sessions, Paula found new ways to approach these challenges. “One thing that really stuck with me was when my coach told me, ‘You’re in control. Other people aren’t in control of what you do – you are.’ That was a big eye-opener,” she recalls. “That one statement changed how I see decisions. I made a big choice that day, and it hasn’t left me since.”
A Supportive and Relaxed Environment
Despite initial nerves about opening up, Paula quickly found herself at ease. “I was a little nervous because I knew it would bring up difficult things, but my coach was so lovely. We just clicked – we’d have a laugh, it felt more like chatting with a friend than being in a formal session. That made all the difference.”
Her sessions provided a balance of structured learning and organic conversation. “Sometimes we’d go off-topic, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It felt natural. And each week, she’d come back with practical tips based on what we’d talked about.”
Taking the Lessons Forward
The programme helped Paula not only gain confidence but also develop strategies for managing stress and decision-making in her daily life. She learned to set boundaries, focus on what truly matters, and trust herself more.
“I used to worry so much about pleasing everyone,” she says. “Now, I remind myself that doing the right thing might upset one person, but if it helps many others, then it’s the right decision.”
She’s also learned to be kinder to herself. “I’ve always felt like I’m not doing enough, that I should be achieving more. But now, I break things into smaller targets and celebrate those wins. That’s been a big shift for me.”
A Career with Purpose
Paula has always worked in roles that involve caring for others. Today, she runs a community café, providing food parcels, employment opportunities, and support services to those in need.
“I love what I do. We help people who might struggle to get jobs elsewhere – those with low confidence, learning disabilities, or those who’ve experienced abuse,” she explains. “If I were still in my past relationship, I don’t think I’d be here, doing what I love. I feel free now.”
Advice for Others
For anyone considering joining the programme but feeling hesitant, Paula’s advice is simple: “Just give it a go. You control how much you share, and if it’s not for you, you’ve lost nothing. But if it helps – and it likely will – then you’ve gained something really valuable.”
A Lasting Impact
Reflecting on her time with Choices, Paula describes the experience as “brilliant, fun, and incredibly supportive.”
“I didn’t feel judged. I felt listened to. And I came away with real, practical tools that I’ll carry with me for a long time.”
Her journey is a testament to the power of support, the right guidance, and the courage to take that first step. Through Choices, Paula found not only career support but also the confidence to shape her own path forward.
